Creative Writing Prompt #188

"Write from the point of view of a coffee maker that short-circuited."

Cale. That one simple word. It inspires fear inside the very heart of me. Deep down into the depths. The dark, abysmal depths of emptiness. The emptiness that I feel on those days where Cale and his classmates are in this room, seemingly at the crack of dawn, is second to none. I sometimes wonder why. Why have I been placed upon this Earth? On those days, I am committed to brutal slave labour--the intense heat of the sun beating away at my back, like a spiked club to a defenseless baby seal. Unfortunately for me and young Mr. Seal, no-one cares about us. We are the social outcasts of the greater world. For young Mr. Seal, there is seen to be no purpose. As for myself...I am looked down upon by the other kitchen appliances. My kind, in reality, is truly the weakest link. Is there a redeeming feature in my bleak future? Judging by the hours of endless toil I must do, digesting coffe beans and giving off a dark waste product, I think not. I will never understand why humans do the things that they do. Do they find sick pleasure in drinking my bitter waste? All it amounts to is the yellowing of their death-munchers. My foil lid trembles at the very thought--I am very thankful that I am not within their tastes. Humans have never attempted to eat me, and so I shall do the same. I will remain anonymous, as I have done for many a year, and shall only use the power of scalding hot water to my advantage when I see fit.


The other day, I finally snapped. That young girl, the one with the curly blond hair, will never be the same again. You see...I was a bit down in the mood department and didn't feel like I could put up with any shenanigans. It was another one of those days when I was set to work in the early morning, so I blew up. All over her face. I just blew up. Scalding coffee grounds and burning hot coffee cascaded down her face as her skin bubbled, and then I says to myself I says "Coffee Maker, you've gone and done yourself a bad deed, you have." Anyhow, once the ambulance had all come and gone, I started feeling a little funny in the tummy. I'm not sure how it all began, but things started to fall apart. Really, my lid was cracking and my handle was rattling and everything. All of a sudden I---beep boop! Woof Woof, Meow Meow!! Bob eats the shoes McGee! Woolooloopdoopdoop!! Muwhajbnjhnkjkkkalll! ZZzzz---zjjna Does Not Compute. DOES NOT COMPUTE. Cale. The very bane of my caffeinated existence. If I were you, boy, I'd watch myself.